How to Overcome Your Fear of Speaking on Stage

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Conversation on Overcoming Fear of Public Speaking

Connor Swam (Host):

Welcome back to another episode of Gone Phishing. I'm your host, Connor, CEO of Phin, joined by Kelcye Blankenship-Lackland, Channel Engagement Manager at Cyber QP.

Kelcye Blankenship-Lackland:

Hello!

Connor:

Today we're talking about public speaking. There are two things people fear most: death and public speaking. Why do you think that is?

Kelcye:

It's very vulnerable. All eyes are on you, and you're constantly thinking about what everyone else is thinking about you. You're elevated, and it can be intimidating. It used to mess with me.

Connor:

How did you get over it?

Kelcye:

I reframed it for myself. In our industry, I want to talk to all these people anyway. Instead of having 200 conversations, one effective one is a better use of my time. We're all human. I had a speaking spot where I didn't do as well as I hoped, and I went to the bathroom and cried. I made it into LinkedIn content, and people were supportive. Colleen Fry told me, "Your humanness is what makes people want to talk to you and work with you." That helped me realize everyone in the crowd would feel similarly if they were up there. We're all scared little humans.

Connor:

When you're speaking publicly, everyone is focused on you, and you worry about how you're coming across. There's a fear of rejection—what if people don't like what I'm saying? It's hard to deal with confrontation, especially in front of hundreds of people.

Kelcye:

The "what ifs" are tough. I once fell onto the stage because the stairs weren't attached. I joked about it and leaned into the moment. I hurt my knee, but it was okay.

Connor:

Did you make a joke about it?

Kelcye:

Yes, I said, "It's not getting any better than this, everybody." Maybe I could work that into something, like a Willy Wonka-style entrance.

Connor:

How did you get over your fear of public speaking?

Kelcye:

Jimmy Hadsall told me, "People remember you more than what you're saying. If they like you and remember a couple of things, that's all that matters." I took public speaker training, and they said people remember how you start and end, not the whole presentation. That took a lot of pressure off. I remind myself I want to talk to these people. Reframing anxiety into excitement helps—it's the same chemical in your brain. Instead of psyching yourself out, psych yourself up. I still get nervous before, but once I'm on stage, it's fine.

Connor:

My dad was a pastor and gave me two tips: never look directly at the audience—look over their heads—and always talk slower than you think you should.

Kelcye:

I was told not to drink alcohol the night before or coffee the morning of a talk. Alcohol makes you feel bad the next day, and coffee adds to the jitters and makes you talk faster.

Connor:

People don't remember your content more than they remember you. People want you to be authentic. Before a recent webinar, I told the panelists, "People are here for you, not just the title. Make sure you talk about what you want to talk about."

Kelcye:

Absolutely.

Connor:

If you had one piece of advice for someone starting public speaking, what would it be?

Kelcye:

Always be a student of the stage. Watch other people speak to learn what you like and don't like, what's effective and what isn't. Tie other presentations into your own. Remember, we're all human. Nobody's perfect. It's not the end of the world if it doesn't go perfectly.

Connor:

If you're deathly afraid of public speaking, join a Toastmasters club. It's a nonprofit that helps people learn to speak publicly and get comfortable with it. I highly recommend it.

Kelcye:

Yeah.

Connor:

Thanks so much for joining me, Kelsey. There will be links in the show notes to your LinkedIn and Cyber QP for those who want to connect or learn more about public speaking, personal brand, or zero standing privileges.

Kelcye:

Appreciate it.

Connor:

Thank you to everyone listening or watching. Thanks for spending time with us, and we'll see you next time. If you want to find out more about high-quality security awareness training campaigns and how to launch them to engage employees, check us out at Phin Security at Phinsec IO or click the links in our show notes. Thanks for Phishing with me today, and we'll see you next time.